Lately I feel sort of blah, like I'm going through the motions, but like my life is lacking in passion. My kids are well fed, but I don't enjoy the craft of creating the meals. My home is clean, but cleaning it feels like a chore, not a privilege. My prayers and devotions have felt "routine" and lacking in zeal. I love my family, my life, those every-day mundane things we do and call life, but lately I just haven't felt that passion and joy that I normally do.
Life has felt busy and rushed lately. David is struggling at work. Money is tight. I've had doctors appointments for myself, on top of what I have for the kids. Yet there is still just so much to rejoice in; so much to be thankful for. Tonight I was reading a book I really like called Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe and the words on the page really spoke to me, as they often do when I am reading this book. I rarely cry, yet I found myself brought to tears, because it spoke so well to exactly how I am feeling. I thought I would share those words with you, in case any of you are feeling how I am.
Life has felt busy and rushed lately. David is struggling at work. Money is tight. I've had doctors appointments for myself, on top of what I have for the kids. Yet there is still just so much to rejoice in; so much to be thankful for. Tonight I was reading a book I really like called Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe and the words on the page really spoke to me, as they often do when I am reading this book. I rarely cry, yet I found myself brought to tears, because it spoke so well to exactly how I am feeling. I thought I would share those words with you, in case any of you are feeling how I am.
"God lives in my home, but sometimes I ignore Him and don't hear the music He is playing just for me. This journey of mothering is a challenging marathon of moments, hours, days, months, and decades. And yet, in each moment, God has sprinkled across our paths beauty, love, and joy. We have only to cultivate eyes in our hearts to observe this Artist's work of life... All of these moments and passages have the mystery and grace of God in them, just waiting to be unpackaged as evidence of His love."
- Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, pg. 160
I pray that God will help me to see the joy in all of those little tasks and duties that make up our life. I pray that I will not only go through life, but that I will live it with purpose and with zeal. I pray I find the beauty in the mundane and pray that I will be thankful for every little moment I have, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. Today I am praying that I live each day with purpose, joy, and passion.
Jamie - I'm so glad you spoke these so true words. I'm also happy you found something you were ready to speak to you and help you find truth.
ReplyDeleteOh girl, I feel you. I think this is such a common wife/mom issue. We give so much to our families because we love them. We give of ourselves all day, every day. Sometimes it can be hard to see the beauty in the mundane. I've had my own health issues and probably haven't felt good in almost a year. I'm finally going to the doctor and having some tests done to see if we can figure out what is going on. We have to take care of ourselves too.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a talk called "Joy in the Journey." The speaker says, "I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now." Here's a link to the entire talk. It's motivating to me during times like this. :) https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/finding-joy-in-the-journey?lang=eng
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