What a difference two years makes

When we were decorating the tree this year, I had to stop and pause when I put this ornament on the tree.

I remember getting this ornament two years ago.  I remember barely having time to even get the tree it would hang on, because we had been in the hospital with a shunt infection.  Madi was born on November 11, 2008.  Her first surgery to close her back and insert a shunt occurred in the evening of November 12th.  We were in Phoenix Children's Hospital five days then got released, much to everyones surprise.  Life back at home was a big adjustment, but life good.  It was better than good, it was amazing.  You really appreciate all the little things you don't have when you are staying in the hospital with a child; home cooked meals, your own bed, clean clothes, a toilet you do not have to leave the NICU to use, a shower that is not shared by every other parent that is staying with their child, getting to have your family together, the peace and quiet, not having to breastfeed your baby with an audience wearing latex-free gloves and poking you, and your privacy in general.  Little did we know what was brewing.  Madi's shunt had gotten infected during the surgery and we would be headed back.  This time it was just under 3 weeks.  I remember feeling so lonely and depressed.  The hospital room felt so empty and cold and I missed David and Conner (I wrote this post about it on December 5th, this on the 12th, this on the 21st, this on the 23rd, and finally this when we got the ok to go home).  I remember feeling bad for feeling bad, because so many other kiddos in the hospital were facing months of hospital time, not just weeks, and too many would never make it home.  I remember feeling torn because I knew I needed to be there with Madi, but missed Conner and David terribly.  My mom and mother-in-law were able to come and sit with Madi a bit so I could run home when needed or were able to bring Conner to me, but it just was not the same.  We got out on Christmas eve and got to spend Christmas with our family.  It was amazing.  Words cannot describe how wonderful it felt.  Who would have guessed that now, two years later, life would be so different.  Instead of feeling hopeless, I am overflowing with hope.  Madi is not just surviving, but is thriving and is defying the odds.  Though we had to go back again for shunt failure in a few weeks after her big stay, it has now been almost two years without shunt problems.  TWO YEARS!!  I want to sing it from the roof tops, I am so excited!  I am thankful for all that God has brought us through and I am so thankful for where we are at now.  Even when things feel hopeless, God is there.  He is always there, and he is always good.